its so cold
cold cold cold
where do the animals go when it snows
i dont think anybody really knows
i wanna find out but i dont
paranoia is rewarded
reality's being distorted
i think everything is recorded
even when studio doors are all boarded
the galaxy is so enormous
and reality is so morbid
but you didnt even get aborted
bitch so just fucking go for it
na nana nana naaaa
im the luckiest exister
that im part of this beautiful picture
but its faded now and im jaded now and i cant seem to find the elixir
i barely talk to my mom
i barely talk to my sister
i cant even say why
cause i really fucking miss her
sometimes thats how the shit goes
and i cant say why i dont think anyone knows
im staring all day at my phone
i can call anyone but still im all alone
its just me
and ADD
in this hyperreality that i see
i just see screens
in 3D
theyre surrounding me even in my dreams
i wanna scream
fluoxetine
just to numb it all out so i can breathe
dependency
its ending me
maybe 2020's not the time for me
20
30
nothing
for me
i just wanna see if the world will prefer me
you love me
you fuck me
you know you cant distrust me
but you just wanna see when the world will destruct me
x4
dont ask where to find me
it is not a mystery
dont make me repeat myself
i am not history
im sick of this world im sick of this fucking misery
just spare me and tell me off the bat if youre not into me
you play so many games
2048
theres not a lot on it i just got a tiny plate
you ask how i am and you think ill say great
but i really wanna launch my fucking body into space
i just wanna find a store thatll put me into stasis
and then theyll wake me up when the world isnt basic
but that might be never and i really gotta face it
i feel like theres a lazer to my face just like its lasik
its boring in my skull to find my mind and then erase it
and take out all the secret information and replace it
im stuck my whole life in this brain im tryna break it
im tryna find a way out of this amber im encased in
hook
could you love your clone
would it feel so good
like a memory that you never earned
i dont know what she’d say or if shed love me
but i dont want her love if she really is me
but thats for her to know and me to wonder
i ask her sleeping body for an answer
her arms just twitch inside her stasis chamber
and suddenly i remember we're strangers
if she woke up right now
what would i even tell her
you and i are the same but
we cant exist together
but you’re the only one that understands
we share our DNA but cant hold hands
am i so wrong for wanting a hug
take my hand take me home
show me how to leave my flesh and bone
take my mind and rip me at the seams
we can have lan party dreams
x2
lan party dreams
all around me
i dont know what to do so i just sit back and breathe
come and meet me
and we’ll forever be
every night when i get online u r all i see
every time i sleep
my powers increase
once you see you'll never want to leave this reality
anything you want
i can make it so
but only in this world where nobody else can go
hook
about
Cold:
A young human lives in the information age. As soon as she can form her own thoughts she seeks out a way to escape her reality, and over time she grows an itching dissatisfaction with the present. She believes that the future is approaching too slowly for any real change to occur within her lifetime, so time travel is the only thing that truly interests her. As she matures she tries other more attainable methods of escaping reality, but when substances and virtual existences start to lose effectiveness she realizes she has to leave this time altogether to truly be happy.
20 30:
The only thing she hates more than the present is the past, so she sets her sights on the future. She has long since accepted that true time travel will never exist, so her interest has shifted to suspended animation. She is constantly pouring through scientific journals and google results looking for studies and startups involving any form of human stasis. After a decade of research in the year 2030 she finds her first truly promising lead, and after months of bugging them over email she is finally accepted to be the subject of a long term suspended animation project at a reputable laboratory. In light of the planet and its societies decaying more rapidly than usual, the researchers plan to put a volunteer in stasis to be made into the first ever human time capsule. This living vessel would be capable of carrying on unique qualitative information about the humans of the present into a future that might very well see all other forms of data destroyed. She knows she should care more about leaving her family, but the possibility of seeing a future where the potential of humanity is realized overpowers her desire to carry anything from her time period with her. After informing her confused relatives about her decision and saying her goodbyes she completes the necessary tests and is soon sealed in a stasis chamber within a secure underground bunker set to return to the surface in 3020 years.
Planetside:
Finally 3020 years have passed. She arrives at the surface in the midst of a sprawling encumenopilis unlike anything she has ever known. She is immediately greeted by a welcoming party, and they tell her that since she was put into stasis a massive world war occurred, destroying most of the earth and its inhabitants. In the wake of this tragedy most of the remaining humans have consolidated resources and knowledge to become a highly advanced spacefaring civilization, which has come into contact with the greater galactic community composed of various intelligent species from different worlds. She is immediately taken to the central xenopological institution of this society where she shares her story, and she is in turn updated on current technological advancements made possible by interspecies collaboration that allow their society to function on such a massive scale.
Clone Love:
She quickly becomes the 5050s equivalent of a celebrity, and is brought into the scientific fold and given all modern amenities. The most essential of these is a clone body stored in her living quarters which she can transfer her consciousness to if her current body is ever to malfunction. With the instant insertion of an implant the clone is constantly remotely updated with a current copy of her mind, so if she is to die before she can transfer her true consciousness the clone can awake and take her place in society. At first she doesn’t see how this could be preferable to just dying, but she soon comes to learn that as a result of constant war and a nihilistic galactic perspective this society sees life as a utilitarian and ephemeral thing, having accepted that cross-star teleportation (the only method for reaching distant planets) essentially creates a new identical version of you and kills the old. This method of travel is ubiquitous in galactic society to the point that the average lifespan of most travelers is only technically a few years or less each incarnation. She refuses to use this teleportation technology and is frustrated by the fact that she's the only one so shaken by this bleak paradigm, and fantasizes of illegally booting up her clone to have someone to relate to, in an act known as doubling. Doubling is strictly prohibited by galactic society to prevent fraud and is punishable on almost every planet by execution, but she still can’t shake the idea. She constantly comes back to watch the clone as a form of literal self reflection. In a strange way it is the closest thing to family she has in this era, and she begins to feel pangs of regret over leaving her relatives in her excitement to experience the future. Eventually her loneliness comes to a peak and she decides the time has come to boot up her clone, hacking into the system to release her as a fully formed being coexisting with her original form. The pair flee her living space before galactic enforcement is able to arrive.
LAN Party Dreams:
Despite the pair being perpetually on the run from the powers that be, there is nowhere they would rather be than together. They love each other more than any beings have before; they are close enough to think with one mind, but separate enough to see each other and therefore themselves for who they truly are. As the years pass the pair becomes so unified that it is forgotten who the original version is, and as their bodies begin to decay it becomes clearer and clearer that death is the only thing that can truly separate them. In their makeshift lab they begin the LAN Party Dreams project, named after a long obsolete technology from the time of the original version. Over a few months they created a spacecraft containing two interconnected stasis chambers. The pair laid in suspended animation, and through an alien technology were bound in an organic virtual reality of their design. Over the course of centuries the craft fully transferred their true consciousnesses from flesh into this transcendent state of biological data, allowing them to live an open ended existence in their new reality. It was truly beautiful, but all things come to an end.
credits
released May 12, 2020
- All production, engineering, most vocals, and writing by Maxim Solomon aka titmouse
- Vocals on Clone Love by Plogue Alter/Ego and @ivyhollivana
- Cover art by Susan Brand (www.susanbrand.com)
supported by 5 fans who also own “LAN Party Dreams”
a bold statement. while I can't say I'm deeply in love of every moment of it, there's something about it that speaks to me quite strongly. highly recommended Watching Nebula
supported by 5 fans who also own “LAN Party Dreams”
this was the final album i needed to complete my collection of every black dresses album (and ep), and this one. this one is my new favorite. it's everything i love about black dresses, especially on WHEEL OF FORTUNE. crazy to think this is 5 years old, let alone released in the same month as my birthday. one million happy fans and friends forever <3 carrie